I have been going to rage club with Gabriela Fagundes for about 4 weeks. I have been learning how to get in touch with and express my anger but I often encounter blocks. Fear of what others with think. I have a heart time letting it all out.

Today during the I hate practice I was able to let it all out. I was also able to connect my anger to my words in a way I haven’t in a long time. It felt different to be able to say I hate with clarity and power. Sometimes I have said I hate… in a way that gives away my power and feels helpless. This new way felt so good. I hate changing myself for other people and trying to make others comfortable! I am done giving a fuck. I hate not having good male role models. I hate how suppressed I am and how suppressed so many people are. I hate how boring life is. I hate drama, I hate mold and having to spend all my money on my health… and more and more. I let it all out.

I felt my energetic body and physical body change, become more powerful, more clear more present and direct. I felt myself transform. It felt like when I was younger and was learning karate from one of the best karate masters in NYC. I felt so alive. I will bring this back into my life. Into my boundaries and decisions and interactions with other people.

For so long I had a lot of anger but didn’t know what to do with it. I had the story that it was useless since situations that made me angry have past. I couldn’t change the past situation but I had this anger and didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know how to let it go. I now have a new way of being with it that feels good. My anger was hurting me, making me feel small, making me hate myself, making me not trust people and putting a wall between me and others. I am very grateful for finding this other way. This new way of using my anger to find clarity and to protect and empower me and show me new information. I have been searching for a long time.