I have been going to rage club with Gabriela Fagundes for about 4 weeks. I have been learning how to get in touch with and express my anger but I often encounter blocks. Fear of what others with think. I have a heart time letting it all out.

Today during the I hate practice I was able to let it all out. I was also able to connect my anger to my words in a way I haven’t in a long time. It felt different to be able to say I hate with clarity and power. Sometimes I have said I hate… in a way that gives away my power and feels helpless. This new way felt so good. I hate changing myself for other people and trying to make others comfortable! I am done giving a fuck. I hate not having good male role models. I hate how suppressed I am and how suppressed so many people are. I hate how boring life is. I hate drama, I hate mold and having to spend all my money on my health… and more and more. I let it all out.

I felt my energetic body and physical body change, become more powerful, more clear more present and direct. I felt myself transform. It felt like when I was younger and was learning karate from one of the best karate masters in NYC. I felt so alive. I will bring this back into my life. Into my boundaries and decisions and interactions with other people.

For so long I had a lot of anger but didn’t know what to do with it. I had the story that it was useless since situations that made me angry have past. I couldn’t change the past situation but I had this anger and didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know how to let it go. I now have a new way of being with it that feels good. My anger was hurting me, making me feel small, making me hate myself, making me not trust people and putting a wall between me and others. I am very grateful for finding this other way. This new way of using my anger to find clarity and to protect and empower me and show me new information. I have been searching for a long time.

Fue buenísimo el espacio de ayer, noche me quedé soñando con ustedes, seguíamos haciendo ejercicios, practicando... Había un círculo de muchos animales alrededor de nosotros, viéndonos, reconociéndonos, sintiéndonos.
y en agún momento Gabriela y yo estábamos acompañando un parto juntas, en realidad ella lo estaba atendiendo y yo la acompañaba y le daba algunas observaciones. Fue muy interesante, como si Gabriela estuviera muy puesta para atender parto y yo estuviera ahí para apoyarla.

Quién sabe... los sueños, qué se presenta.. por qué, pero por lo pronto agradezco mucho todo lo que estoy sintiendo, agradezco este grupo, y me agradezco a mí porque no me quiero dejar morir...

Eu tinha a sensação de ter perdido o fogo e descobri que estava abafando por tantas vozes.

Percebi hoje que o Clube da Raiva facilitou eu enxergar que como eu me via era história. O que eu amo fazer e é importante para mim, eu posso e tenho capacidade para fazer. Não para agradar. Mas agir de acordo com o meu ser.

Ouvi algo da Gabriela que ficou ecoando em mim e hoje isso aterrissou mais - usar a espada é cortar as merdas para eu ver e estar com o que importa.

E assim posso ir além. Ando sentindo o medo de ir além do conhecido e também sinto alegria por estar nesse espaço. E é possível sentir os dois

During the last Rage Club I set boundaries with my father during a standing Rage Hold:

- I no longer accept men threatening to physically hurt me or actually physically hurting me.
- I feel and express my anger and set boundaries with men.
- I stop saving men from feeling shame and pain.

I celebrate that.

Duas percepções e transformações que aconteceram na minha vida e atribuo ao nosso trabalho no Clube da Raiva.

A primeira foi interna: Na semana passada, meu filho (19a) passou o fds todo comigo, coisa que não acontecia há pelo menos uns dois meses. E, percebi que ao me deparar com pequenas situações e comportamentos dele que me deixava muito irritada, eu não me senti afetada, não tinha irritação e nem raiva. Apenas observei e internamente senti o que senti. Não entrei em reatividade. Isso foi incrível.

A segunda foi externa: quando me encontrei presencialmente com a minha melhor amiga, ou seja, alguém que me conhece profundamente, e passarmos três horas conversando (ela está morando fora há um ano e esteve aqui de passagem), recebi dela no dia seguinte a mensagem abaixo:

"Amiga, achei tu tão bem.
Gostei.
Achei q tá tranquila mesmo em meio às adversidades."

I deeply appretiate your spaceholding qualities Gabriela. The balance of sword and chocolate, you didn’t let people away with things yet people also felt supported and ‘held’.

You also used your anger and fear to notice small signals from the team.. especially if they had an impulse and supported them to speak up. You empower people to take back their agency. And this Rage Club for me was about leaving school. I learned for the first time to interrupt people.

I thought the experiments you brought there was a wide variety of experience. A big Go for experimenting with allowing what came from the group .

I was particularly impressed with how you supported the conversation around sexual energy in the last session. .. it was a testament to the supportive environment that grew from this group and the collaboration created .. that these men were able to verbalise their fears around this topic and also feel the support from the women

Your passion shines so bright and so strong. Massive GO!